Last night as I was trying to go to sleep I was watching the Real Housewives of NJ reunion. I'm not sure if you guys have seen this show, or you may even possibly watch it on a regular basis, but one of the mothers has both male and female children and mentioned how she is very hard on her male children's (adult age) girlfriends, never mentioning her daughter and her boyfriends.
During my life I have experienced the Italian mothers who give me a hard time when I date their son's, and I have also met men my age who have dated women whose fathers have intimidated them, and I wondered to myself whether or not this is a similar situation? Do you think one has a harder time than the other? Do you feel that fathers have higher expectations and are harder on their daughter's boyfriends than mothers are towards their son's girlfriends?
What she did mention about her daughter is that she hopes that she is prepared to be a housewife, and is capable of doing wife/mother jobs, such as cleaning a house, preparing a meal, doing laundry etc.
Further more, one of the other women on the show had mentioned a time when she had needed a break from the children and some time alone so she asked her husband to watch the kids while she went out. She later found out that he had called one of his sisters to come and babysit and became furious. I agree that I would be upset aswell, but what are your thoughts? Do you feel that his immediate act of surrendering and handing over his children to a woman means he is incapable of taking care of them or unwilling. How do you feel this reflects his love for them and his wife who needed the break?
Week 6 Eureka Moment
15 years ago
Taran,
ReplyDeleteI think fathers are harder on their daughters' boyfriends more than the mothers on the boys' girlfriends, because many fathers care about their daughters more than they care about their sons, not because they like the girl more, but because they feel that boys are always stronger in their relationship than the girls.
Also, they feel more worried about the daughter than the son, because they think girls follow their hearts, while boys follow their minds. So, if the parents think that the girl's boyfriend is not good, no matter how much they will tell her she might not listen to them and keep following him because she loves him. But if they tell the boy that his girlfriend is not good, he will listen to his parents and leave his girlfriend.
Taran,
ReplyDeleteI've never watched the real housewives of NJ but I have caught episodes of the real housewifes of both NY and Atlanta. If I didn't have to work (was financially stable), then I can see myself being a housewife....why not?!?
To answer your questions, I think that both men and women are equally hard on whomever their child is dating (son or daughter). I have a co-worker that has two son's and she's always saying what type of girls she'll allow her sons to date and some of the things that come out of her mouth make me think my gosh.. these are definetly "mama's boys" and I have a daughter and both my husband and I are starting to have the talk about what age we'll allow her to date and what drill we'll put these boys through to be sure that they're acceptable to date our daughter.
Men maybe a little more relaxed with their sons but then again, I'm not too sure. In the end, I think every parent just wants to make sure that their children are in a safe and happy relationship and that they (the parents)can get along with whomever they decide to bring home.
I'm not sure if the husband did the wrong thing by calling his sister, it's better then leaving them in the house alone if he felt as though he couldn't handle the task set before him. If he's not used to spending time alone with the kids then she should be a little more understanding, for some men it's something that they have to be eased in to not thrown upon. I'd have to know the history of this family before passing judgement.