Response to Tonya Week 4

Tonya,

To an extent, I know how you feel. I am 21 and was diagnosed with ADD when I was 19 years old, beginning my Soph. year in college. I remember realizing the difficulty I had to complete assignments or even tasks around the house, like clean my room or even just get up off my seat and go to my sports practices. I was hardly ever motivated and hardly could connect situations. For example, my mind would wander during the worst times: reading, I would have to re-read pages, books, chapters just because every time I would start to read, I would be thinking of other things. Then it started getting scary, and dangerous. I would drive home from school, an hour and a half, and hardly remember how I had gotten there, because I was just thinking about a million other things.

I had always done well in school, but I had to be VERY dedicated, and determined, which at times, it just called for too much from me. I explained my concern to my mom and right away she took me to a doctor.

On the way, she explained that she had actually tried to have me screened for ADD at a young age, but never believed in medicine fixing things about who we are, so when I said I wanted nothing to do with it, she let it go right away.

Once she had told me this, I remembered the time. I had to bring tests and questionnaires to my teachers etc. and the thought of me being on medicine? Well as a young child I viewed this as : if I go on medicine, that means there is something wrong with me. So i denied the idea and procedure to the fullest.

Now, I can see where your situation was far different, but I too know what its like to be an adult with the disorder. It really makes a world of difference with the help. What did and didn't happened to you as a young girl is unfortunate. Luckily things are set straight and we have people who are including girls in on their research ... You're right though, it's upsetting that men and boys are always the tested result and the measurement they tend to use overall.

-Taran
June 12, 2009 7:50 PM

Response to Kesha's Week 4

Taran G said...

That kind of stuff bothers me. Not so much that the movie had a naked man in it. I think that it's annoying that a naked women is always shown on TV and movies, where as a naked man isn't. In no way am I saying that I am craving for a movie that reveals a naked man, but just the balance is ridiculous! I personally feel very uncomfortable when I am watching a movie and see naked women running around through sprinklers and kissing one another in some frat house, especially when I am with a guy, or even worse, one of my parents.

It's understandable that you would have that initial reaction, unfortunately we are "use" to seeing women naked on TV or any type of entertainment. It's too bad that thats something thats become a regular occurrence.

-Taran
June 12, 2009 7:37 PM

Response to Tiffany's Eureka Week 4

Taran G said...

Ooohhhh man... Interesting. What'd be even MORE interesting is if this guy also believes that women should prepare the food as well, considering they can only "eat" certain foods.

Personally, I think it's frustrating when men think women should only eat salads and drink water with lemon. Especially since I am a women who likes good food! lol, seriously though, that goes along with the whole image of women. Women are "Supposed" to be thin, in good shape, eat salads, change diapers, clean dishes, etc.

I realize that a lot of these thoughts and views root from our society, but it makes me wonder, did this man grow up with any sisters? Female cousins? What was his mother like? What was his relationship like between his mother and father? I think family and surroundings have a great influence as well.
June 12, 2009 7:22 PM

Week 4 Eureka - Men paying for everything

I was out at a bar last week. As I was in the bathroom, I heard these girls talking about how they were going to get guys to just buy them drinks and something about how the one man she was talking to earlier didn't offer to buy her a drink so she left and found someone else.

I feel that this is so unfortunate that there are women out there looking for a great guy, who'll talk to them and actually have a decent conversation with them, and then there are other women out there making ladies look like gold diggers, and uninterested unless you have money.

I can see how an educated woman would want someone who has intelligence and has a good life, not a bum on the street, however, why do some women concentrate so much on whether or not a man has money or not?

When I was in high school I worked at a tanning salon. We had an hourly wage but also made a percent of commission. We went to sales training for the beds and products we sold. I was working one day with this other girl when a man walked in from his beat up pick up truck, wearing construction boots, ripped jeans, muddy shirt, and needed a shave, bad! The girl who was working with me just laughed and said you can have this one. Mainly what she was doing ( or thinking she was doing ) was giving me a customer who wouldn't buy anything or didn't have money, and it would lower my average sales per customer.

I took the customer, and offered him the sale deals I did any other customer. He bought the $100 tanning lotion, and the most expensive monthly membership of $250/month. Besides the fact that her mouth dropped, which was lovely! I felt good that I didn't discriminate. Turns out the man was a huge contractor, and had an amazing amount of money. This just goes to show you, you can't judge a book by its cover, and you certainly can't assume you know someone. Turns out this man goes home each night to a huge mansion, parks his beat up truck in the garage, showers, puts on designer clothes and hops into his BMW sports car.

Its unfortunate that people are so judgmental. You never really know who your dealing with these days.

Response to Kesha's Week #3 Eureka Comment. A homosexual being 'cured'?

Taran G said...

Kesha-
This is a pretty serious situation. My first question is, does his wife have any knowledge that he went to these groups to try and 'convert' him, or any idea that before their marriage, that he was known as a homo sexual man?

I think this is interesting, because there is the idea of bi-sexuality as well. Does he find her attractive? -In a sexual way? Or did he fall in love with her personality and married her because it was easily accepted.

My sisters very good friend is now dating a young woman. For as long as I had known her she was dating guys/men. Though this doesn't change her sexual preference, some descriptions of her would be beautiful, popular, she was on the cheerleading squad with my sister, and dated a wonderful, smart, popular guy in high school.

When she explains her girlfreind and the relationship, she says that its not that she is attracted to 'women', its that she is attracted to that specific WOMAN. The person her girlfriend is, is so wonderful, and attractive, smart, etc. and that is why she loves her and is in a relationship. She doesn't love her for the simple concept that it is a woman, yet she doesn't love her "in spite" of the fact either.

I wonder now, is this the difference between homosexuals, and bisexuals? Are homosexuals attracted to a humans sex and gender? Is that what turns them on?

This is why I am curious about your friend. You say he admitted to imagining his wife as a man while having sex. Is this because he does not find females attractive in a sexual way? or is it because he is not fully in love with her...

I feel that situations like this are hard for both partners. Its hard for the homosexual partner because they are, in some cases, trying to force themselves into a relationship because its socially acceptable, but I really feel for the partner they are joined to, for many reasons. I dont think that it is fair for a person to fall in love with someone who isn't truly being themselves. Also, that person may be truly in love with their husband or wife, but on the flip side, to them, they are with them because they are trying to "become" heterosexual, or accepted, or hide their homosexuality and desires. I would be fully heartbroken if i fell in love with a man, and later found out that he married me in attempts to be viewed as "normal" and that he wasn't fully attracted to me. It wastes the persons time and emotions, and complicates many things. If i had children with a man aswell, that would make matters even worse.

Don't get me wrong, I see the struggle of both sides, and I see the struggle for your friend, and people in his position, but you can't change who you are or what you like, it's not entirely fair to lead someone into that hardship and struggle unknowingly.



In total, I think its a bad situation. But no, I don't think you can "change" someone from being gay or straight. However, to every rule, there are exceptions. I may have a "type" of tall, tan men with dark hair and blue eyes. Search for these people, date these people, fantasize about these types of men, but then one day I might meet an African American man, or Indian man, or Asian man, or some type of man who I never found caught my eye in the past, but suddenly does.

It's a hard question to answer with a yes or no.

Sorry if I rambled on for a while.Good Eureka comment!
-Taran
June 3, 2009 12:11 PM

Response to Teandra's Eureaka week #3 Whats considered cheating?

Taran G said...

I find this interesting, I must be honest, the second i read your post about this guy saying, blah blah, yea it wasnt me but... some guys i know did this... what do YOU think of it? Right away I thought haaaa, you mean YOU did it, and your saying it was other people to try and get an honest opinion out of me without tarnishing my thoughts of you. I may be right, or he may be telling the truth, never know - did you ever think of it that way?

But anyways! I agree with our text book in the fact that men and women have different understandings and communicate differently, but in my mind, i think for a man or woman to say it is a communication misunderstanding of what "cheating" is considered, kill the act. You know very well that most likely the one who cheated, regrets it or realizes what they did wrong, and says oh, i don't consider that cheating - and that very same person would be upset, shocked, angry, disgusted by the same acts and behaviors being done towards them.
For instance: If a man says, yeh, I was drunk; it didn't mean anything; it was only a kiss; it was my bachelor party; but were not married; cant you just forgive me and get over it? Say the exact situation was reversed and it was the girl saying it to the man, or vice versa - that person would most likely object to the performance and antics.

I'll tell you what though, the next boyfriend I have better "communicate" properly and recognize any type of action with attraction and sexual motives is going to be considered cheating, and if thats not how they feel, then thats going to be over before it begins.

Whats the point in having an exclusive person, if your interesting in other people or the thought of being with someone else? Be single instead, don't jeopardize another persons feelings and emotions.
June 3, 2009 11:47 AM

Week #3 Eureka - Does personal Preference Change Acceptance?

This past weekend I went to Cape Cod, Massachusetts for my family graduation party. My entire family from both my fathers side, and my mothers side attended.
My mom's sister is a beautiful, outgoing, hilarious woman who is still not married, though has a boyfriend for abut 2 years now. My father's younger sister is a lesbian. As we were all outside eating, talking, and catching up with one another I heard my mothers sister talking about the tatoo she had just gotten. You may be thinking, beautiful, outgoing, and hilarious? I know a woman like that, my guess is you don't int he degree i mean these words. She is about 43, and her tatoo? on her ... ill use the word "bum", and it is of the tazmanian devil. This is just the person she is. She finds humor in random things and enjoys it thoroughtly.
As i mentioned above, i heard her talking about it and next thing I know, I am turning around to see her standing backside to my lesbian aunt, showing her her new tatoo. Now, she had shown, my mother, my sister, our cousins, her other sisters, etc. this tatoo, but the moment I saw her pulling down the top of her underwear to shw my father's lesbian sister my mouth dropped.
Looking back, I realize perhaps I shouldnt have viewed it this way. They dont deserve to be discriminated against, and I never thouht that I did. I love my aunt just as much as my 4 others, but the moment I saw that i thought to myself, hmmmm... should she be doing that.
I know that girls, especially, get very clsoe when they are friends and possibly even change infront of one another. But this made me wonder, would things change if i found out that one of my frineds was a lesbian? I would hope not, and though i wouldnt dislike them by any means, I am wondering if my comfortability would alter. Have any of you ever been in a situation like this? or caught yourself thinking in a way you never saw yourself thinking?