Taran G said...
I think that it's nice that your the type of mother who is happy when her children are happy. Truth is, there is no real danger in your daughter living with her boyfriend, so in no way is there anything wrong with your acceptance. I think that considering she was there all of the time already, it makes sence. Also, times are SO much different now a days. for starters, shes 26. Most adults that are against this were probably married by this age. I know my mother was already married and had me by that age. People get married later, but that doesnt change their maturety level at that age. Second, i think its SMART to live together before getting married. You see a different side of people when you live with them, there is no escaping arguments or bad moods, if they go to "their room to vent" its your room too. It fources you to see what it would be like if you marry this person, and being forced to face your problems or arguments right away. Also, with the divorce rate on the climb, I think that this is a way for people to get to know one another and see: is this really someone I want to spend the rest of my life with? What do they brign to the table, do they pay their bills on time, is their credit bad, are they an absolute slob while i am a neat freak. If anything I think that you have soemthing to be proud of. You are a mom who has managed to adapt to the new ways of life of other generations, you are flexible and realize what is necessary to get worked up over, and what isnt. Good for you.
May 28, 2009 10:30 PM
Week 6 Eureka Moment
15 years ago
Taran,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind thoughts. Yes, my daughter is now 26 and is an adult. A little side note, my older sister lived with a guy for 17 years before she married her now husband. She married in her late forties. And even though she was that age, my mother still had problem with my sister living with this man. I don't consider myself a modern mother - I just see it as looking at the big picture and saying -- people - men and women both learn by their life challenges and decisions. My mother felt that if she would talk her daughters out of making their life "mistakes" that she was doing "right" by them. She said that she was raised like that and her brother could do anything - but her mother had much did not allow her that kind of freedom because she was a girl - and I can honestly say that I expect the same from my children - my girls and boy - and that's it!