This past weekend I went to Cape Cod, Massachusetts for my family graduation party. My entire family from both my fathers side, and my mothers side attended.
My mom's sister is a beautiful, outgoing, hilarious woman who is still not married, though has a boyfriend for abut 2 years now. My father's younger sister is a lesbian. As we were all outside eating, talking, and catching up with one another I heard my mothers sister talking about the tatoo she had just gotten. You may be thinking, beautiful, outgoing, and hilarious? I know a woman like that, my guess is you don't int he degree i mean these words. She is about 43, and her tatoo? on her ... ill use the word "bum", and it is of the tazmanian devil. This is just the person she is. She finds humor in random things and enjoys it thoroughtly.
As i mentioned above, i heard her talking about it and next thing I know, I am turning around to see her standing backside to my lesbian aunt, showing her her new tatoo. Now, she had shown, my mother, my sister, our cousins, her other sisters, etc. this tatoo, but the moment I saw her pulling down the top of her underwear to shw my father's lesbian sister my mouth dropped.
Looking back, I realize perhaps I shouldnt have viewed it this way. They dont deserve to be discriminated against, and I never thouht that I did. I love my aunt just as much as my 4 others, but the moment I saw that i thought to myself, hmmmm... should she be doing that.
I know that girls, especially, get very clsoe when they are friends and possibly even change infront of one another. But this made me wonder, would things change if i found out that one of my frineds was a lesbian? I would hope not, and though i wouldnt dislike them by any means, I am wondering if my comfortability would alter. Have any of you ever been in a situation like this? or caught yourself thinking in a way you never saw yourself thinking?
Week 6 Eureka Moment
15 years ago
Taran,
ReplyDeleteThat is a hilarious story! Your aunt seems like a trip! I've learned from my gay friends that unless you are gay, they aren't going to try and "turn" you. Just as you respect your aunt for being gay, she respects you for being straight. I had one lesbian try and "turn" me but she was 19 years old (I was 26) and was completely NOT out yet. I think she just saw me as a confident woman who didn't have a boyfriend at the time and thought she'd give it a shot. I think felt awkward about it after, but I told her to chill out.
Just because a guy is gay, doesn't mean I'm going to change my clothes in front of him. I'm a little reserved so changing my clothes in front of men is not done (unless it's my husband or boyfriend). So I don't think your gay aunt saw what your straight aunt was doing as sexual.
Taryn
Response to Taran
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say that I don’t know. I have had a lot of gay male friends. I have never had any friends that were lesbians. However I would hope my comfort ability wouldn’t change. I grew up around all men so I don’t relate well to the getting dressed in front of women. It makes me uncomfortable when any woman (gay or straight) takes her clothes off in front of me. When I was in high school I always thought it was strange when people did that. Just because we are both girls doesn’t mean I want to see you naked. I think it comes from me being raised to “guard my goodies” as my mother would call. I remember when I was little my mother would always tell me “don’t let anyone see your goodies; they are for your eyes only.” I’ve never grown out of that I guess. Obviously a man finally got to see my “goodies” because I have two kids, but I still get very uncomfortable when people (mainly women) get undressed in my presence. Usually when women do it I don’t say anything, however I try to look at anything but them. My girlfriend does it all the time and she wants to talk while she’s doing. I personally find it strange.
I've never been around any gay or lesbian people, so I don't really know how I will fee if one of my friends turned to be homosexual. As a Muslim girl I am not allow to show any part of my body to anyone or change my cloth in front of anyone other than my husband. So because of this since I was a young girl I never changed my cloth in front of any one, and when I see someone doing it I feel so shy and I leave the room.
ReplyDeleteThe funny part is when I was in high school and I had to change my cloth to the gym cloth, I always wait until everyone is done and leave the room and then I will change, until one day the teacher told me that I can't be any more late, and when I explained to her so said "you can change in the bathroom". I felt so bad, and I said to myself "she is so mean, and she doesn't respect any other people feelings".
Taran,
ReplyDeleteI think your gut reaction was perfectly normal - was like an "uh oh moment" which is completely understandable. Please take my following comments as just "food for thought". Do you think that at a family graduation party it was appropriate for your aunt to display her tatoo in that manner? If it was on her leg, arm, not a problem - and by no means do I consider myself a "prude" - but first of all, weren't there guys present? Is this something to do at this type of event in mixed company? Different circumstances - more informal setting like a girls' night at friends house, little bit of eating, little bit (or more than a little) of drinking. Your aunt tells people that she got a tatoo in a "private area" and says, "anyone want to see it" - then go from there. That's my opinion.
Your gut reaction (that was just what you thought - and didn't say anything to anybody about) is perfectly normal - that's why they call it a "gut reaction". Have I had those moments and then thought to myself - "that seems like a bias thought" - of course I have - everyone does. Now if you wouldn't have said don't do that in front of her - she's a lesbian and ...... that would be a "no-no", but you didn't. So, if anyone is "at fault", my opinion - poor judgment on your aunt showing the tatoo - not what you were thinking...